Exams.

I remember our first kiss..
It was a kiss that left many many promises for the near future..
I was flying over the seas and the mountains, and all those tiny little meaningless ants down there. I was the master of all that was, the king, the lord, the omnipotent one. I felt waves inside me, such waves of passion, lust, affection, love, want and the insatiable desire to lose myself in that kiss. It wasn't just the act of two lips merging and separating, two tongues embracing in a frenzied tango that could shatter the mind faster than a nuclear bomb. It was even more. A little bit of my soul entered you, and yours entered mine. We were one, we were inseparable. The snake that eats its tail, the oroboros, and even more, we were one in movement, in thought, in breath and in heartbeat, two bodies that were so close they just begged to finally merge, two souls swimming as one in the endless vivid red sea of our blood rushing through our synchronized hearts.
And then it was over, and I opened my eyes like a newborn baby, and then I actually saw you for the first time. We were clear to each other, and we both knew that.
You smiled, and then I left.
I took the first step.
Everything seemed to be ok, perfectly normal.
I took the second, third, fourth steps.
So far so good.
I took as many steps as it took for me to leave through the door.
And then I took my first step to the outside world, forever changed inside.
I thought I was having a heart-attack, I thought that the ground was no more stable, but a mixture of clay and liquid mud, forever going up and down, left and right, randomly and ever changing. Everything had it's colors changed from second to second. All the smells of the world entered my nose for the first real time, yet all of them could not even compare to the smallest fragment of your scent. My hands felt just like two balloons that were set free, free to fly, to leave this body, to return to you. My feet moved on their own, using their own memory, because the brain could no longer tell them what to do. It was too busy thinking of you. There was no one outside but ghosts and images of you. Smiling, laughing, winking, nudging me to come to you.
And when I finally managed to get back home, I remembered that my heart was elsewhere and my business at that house was short. I grabbed that little present I bought you and ran back to you, getting a beer on the way. It was the first time I didn't like it. It was the first time that its flavor and alcohol could not fill me spiritually and emotionally, and in every other way.
You can put as much beer as you like in a can, but you can't can a kiss.
And then I returned to your soft embrace.
I was alive.
Everyday thereafter was bearable only because I would see you again soon. Not as soon as I'd like, not as soon as I'd hope, but.. Soon enough.
The air is stale, for it is not filled with your aroma.
No food is savory, no drink quenches my thirst, for it is not your lips and it is not your kiss.
No thing, be it any material, is welcoming to the touch anymore, for it is not your hand, and it is not your waist or your soft cheeks, and it is not your velvet skin.
No sound rests as easy in my ears, for it is not your welcoming voice.
No sight, no color, nor painting or other feeble art is delight to my eyes, for it is not your image, and it is not your eyes.
A man deeply enjoying the gifts of love...
A lonely, yet happy man..
My head burns with thoughts of you and me together, and my heart can't decide on a pace to follow.


And I'm supposed to study for my exams?

The Sounldess Scream

The rain falls down caressing my skin
Alone I stand before my fallen kin,
To the West there is but death to see
To the East a mirror, and inside me.
North and South, My soul is crying
And in the end I must be dying.
For this loss, the one that I feel
Is of the few lacks that do surely kill.
On my knees I do fall, my hands on my neck
That salvation of choking which I pray to beget
For the spirits of two when combined to one
When united they stay and beloved they stand
'Tis surely a wonder one's heart must embrace
Through tears in the eyes or a smiling face
Alas, in darkness my death grip is gone
My weary mind from the weeping undone
For I lost my Muse and the fault is all mine
And the brightest of stars has again lost its shine
Pray, do tell me, why am I alive?
I know in my flesh, to the hells I should dive
For a soul without love is all but fulfilled,
Face it or not, you are still being killed...

Your Eyes

Your eyes,
a restless sea in which I drown,
the bliss of life that is your gown,
the cloudless sky that brings the light,
and in those eyes I find delight.
A mighty hurricane of colors,
we may never feel as ours,
and even lest we lose our valors,
we will gaze in them for hours.

Translation

Τί γίνεται άραγε όταν αναστενάζουν τα βουνά;
Όταν ο ουρανός δακρύζει για τη μοναξιά του;
Όταν η έρημος περιμένει με αγωνία για τον επόμενο καμηλίερη;
Όταν η θάλασσα και τα πλάσματά της δεν ωλέπουν καράβια;
Όταν ένα απέραντο λιβάδι, απάτητο απο ανθρώπινο πόδι, θρυνεί;

Άραγε ανεβαίνει πλέον κανείς;
Άραγε όλα τα χελιδόνια κοιμούνται;
Ή ίσως τα αρπακτικά κάνουν υπομονή;
Άραγε ανασαίνουν όλοι καλύτερα στη γαλήνη της μοναξιάς τους;
Άραγε θα γνωρίσει ποτέ την παρουσία κάποιου;

Τόσο κοντά, μα τόσο μακρυά...
Τόσο μεγάλος, κι όμως τόσο μικρός...
Τόσο ανοιχτή, αλλά τόσο απόκρυμνη...
Τόσο γαλήνια, κι όμως τόσο ανυπόμονη...
Τόσο άδειο, κι όμως τόσο γεματο...

Μα στο τέλος, είναι δίπλα-δίπλα, χωρίς ανάγκη κανενός.
Στο τέλος, τα σύννεφα είναι πάντα εκεί, με αστραπές και βροντές.
Και όταν έρχεται το βράδυ, η άμμος γεμίζει μικρές ψυχές.
Γιατί τελικά, πάντα είχαν ο ένας τον άλλον.
Και το λιβάδι μάτωσε, αλλά γέμησε κατακόκκινες παπαρούνες.

Η μοναξιά, η ομορφιά και η χαρά, είναι πράγματα υποκειμενικά.

I wonder...

Whatever happens, when mountains do sigh?
When the sky sheds a tear for his own loneliness?
When the desert waits for the next caravan?
When the sea and Her creatures see no ships?
When an endless meadow, pure from man, mourns?

Wonder if anyone climbs up them anymore?
Wonder if all the swallows are sleeping?
Or maybe the cadavers are patiently waiting?
Wonder if they all breathe more at ease in the calm of their solitude?
Wonder if it shall ever meet the presence of someone?

So close, yet so far...
So big, yet so small...
So vast, yet so steep...
So calm, yet so inpatient...
So empty, yet so full...

But in the end, they are side by side, always, never in need of anyone.
In the end, the clouds are always there, with thunder and lightning.
And when night arrives, the sands fill with small souls.
Because in the end they always had one another.
And the meadow bled, but filled with scarlet red poppies.

Loneliness, beauty and joy are in the eyes and mind of the beholder.